The Ever-Elusive Blueberry Muffin

For some people, its an English roast dinner. For others; the crispy and sought-after pastry that tops the perfect pie. For me, its those damnable blueberry muffins. I am talking about the weakness in the kitchen that you dread preparing, because you just KNOW it will turn out horrifically.

Whenever I shop at Morrisons, I get depressed. Most of their bakery produce is dire; however the lowest shelf in the bakery makes up for this. They ram about 500 bluberries into each case, and it still ends up tenderly moist and spongy. Each one is also big enough to feed an entire family of six. The Times even gave it full marks in a review, beating Marks and Spencer's own for goodness sake. And who ever beats M&S??!

When I first started, I invented my own recipe for the batter. It was 'OK', in the sense that I was sort-of satisified with the texture, until I tried Morrisons'. Then I realised how poor it was. I scoured libraries and the writings of famous chefs. All of which were OK to horrendous. I've only just finished Phil Vickery's take on it, and it seems the poor guy must have confused 'muffin' for 'rock cake' or 'scone'. At a light golden colour, they are easily dense enough to hurl at a passing-by car and cause a dent. And he swears by lemon zest, instead of vanilla essence.
I was prepared to go back and at least toy with my own dire recipe before I forget it entirely, until I realised that I've lost the notes I made. Blast.

I was kind of hoping somebody out there might have the recipe I've been looking for. Spongy, full of fruit, awesome flavour and not a dry area in sight. Comments/hints (or answers!!) very welcome :)

The Old Rectifying House, Worcester

Weekends are incredibly unfair. You've got 2 days (or 1, usually in my case) to cram everything else but work into; so a night on the town is a privledge and a treat.

I used to study in Worcester, and I forgot how atrocious the nightlife was. I learnt one thing however after I returned from the cash machine waiting to meet someone on a street corner; if you are a woman, dressed in stilettos, standing around on your own, men WILL get the wrong idea. You could look like Hulk Hogan in a dress, and men would still get the wrong idea. Just be very careful, ladies. If a man offers you money, don't go "OOOOoo, thankyou! What's that for??" or ask if the 'For Sale' sign on your car is still there. Run. Run screaming.

Anyways, after I was met by a familar face or two, we found the way (quite a way, I should add...in the wrong part of town) to the wonderful Old Rectifying House (see above). Located in the backdrop of Worcester's St. John's, and right by the river, a fabulously restored...house...for rectifying...something or other. I have no idea what. But anyway, the service is immaculate as soon as you step in. The barman knows his wine. The waitress has.....some idea of the food, but she's awfully lovely anyhoo. But I take my hat off to the chef, who obviously views his food as a art meant to be perfected; with careful musing on textures and flavours, then presenting it all in a superb manner. Top marks. He obviously takes justified pride in his work, and fair play to him. His is also the only chef I have seen incorporate chillies into deserts in a fairly non-controversial menu. He has stuck to a good few 'safe' bets, then gone a bit wild in the menu here and there. There's leffe-battered fish, and seared duck breast, all very well...then in a schizophrenic fit of creativity, throws eye-watering chilli into a cooling desert. He pulled it off marvellously, anyway.
My bill for my meal alone (including drink) was roughly 24 pounds. Pretty darned awesome.

Afterwards, we headed over to the Marrs Bar (its a blues club, not a chocolate), to see the very underrated Joanne Shaw Taylor (http://www.myspace.com/joanneshawtaylor). Think Joss Stone with an electric guitar. I've been hunting for one of her CDs for a year or two. A smokey-voiced girl who's been playing since she was about 12, I'm utterly astounded she's not more well-known. What a great end to the evening.

Sunday saw me being dragged with a friend and her boyfriend to see.....urgh...Adam Sandler's new pitiful attempt at the cinema. He was never funny in the first place. And he's proved me right again. Hideously bad. Again.

I heart Wall-E. A lot.

I saw this for a second time last night. And it still made me laugh and cry.

The memories of 80's childhood movies are still very close to my heart, so something that could bring the nostalgic tingly feeling that Short Circuit gave me, still felt very much alive when I saw this. (I have all of the terrible 80's American films hoarded up in my DVD collection...even the dreadful ones like the Mannequin and Police Academy no. 1,560. I shamefully adore all of them)

The fact is, halfway through any film at the cinema, my mind is whirling...is the time up my carpark ticket? Have I got fined/clamped for overstaying? Will the gates be locked forcing me to pay a 40 pound fine to be released? Is the gap by the fence still there, and can I get a Mondeo through it?....the fact is, I was only worrying about this after the film, when I was walking out. The mixture of sadness and elation was taking up too much of my emotions to worry.

Obviously, I can't give anything away but GO AND SEE IT! Kids will love it, nerds will love the '2001: A Space Odyssey' references (I saw this with a computer programer who owns 4 PCS, numerous game consoles, and 'got' all the 'in'-jokes I didn't...figures). Highly entertaining, with a strong sense of morale I hope doesn't go unnoticed to those who watch the little robot with the big doe-eyes....enjoy.

Stew Part 2 - England vs. Wales

Since I've visited our 'next-door neighbours' a few times now, I assumed it was time to start experimenting with their cuisine. When I was younger, my mother did Welsh meatballs (at least, I think that's what they were?), which my sister detested, but I loved.

The Welsh seem bewilderingly proud of their plain, country-fied diet. So cawl Cymreig (or 'Welsh stew') is a typical traditional working-mens' (farmers) dish, very rarely made without lamb (as is 90% of their diet). Its' typically based with leeks (again, a traditional vegetable) and any other stuff they happen dig out of the ground. I've added bacon to this however, which is probably some sort of treason. Ah well. These both serve about 3/4 people. Again, don't feel oblidged to buy the best cut of lamb (neck fillet, or leg or any other cheap one will do)...the cawl was traditionally made by bumpkin peasants to use up whatever they had left at the end of the week.

Cawl Cymreig

500g mutton/lamb, sliced into chunks or strips
5 tbsp (roughly) all-purpose flour
125g smoked bacon, sliced or diced
2 carrots, peeled and sliced
1 small swede (the vegetable, not a citizen of Europe), cut into chunks
1.5 onions, chopped coarsely
450ml (thereabouts) vegetable stock
Sprinkling of black peppercorns
3 garlic cloves
1 bay leaf
chopped thyme (optional)
salt
350g potatoes, peeled and halved
3 leeks, sliced (discard the green tips)
Cornflour (optional)

Take the sliced lamb, and coat in the flour, making sure its evenly covered. Season with a little salt. Bung in slow cooker.

It's all pretty easy...put everything on 'low' and leave for a few hours (4 is ideal), just remember to remove the peppercorns, cloves and bay leaf before eating. Although the lamb is coated with flour, it might not be thick enough for your liking. 30 minutes before serving, crank the cooker up to 'high' and add a couple of tsp of cornflour. Ideally serve with crusty bread and Caerphilly cheese.


English Version

500g lamb, sliced into chunks or strips
Half a butternut squash, peeled and cubed
Half a sweet potato, peeled and cubed
300ml lamb stock
2 carrots, peeled and sliced
2 bay leaves
Half tsp of rosemary (dried or fresh, whichever you prefer)
Pinch of mint (again, the format is up to you, although fresh is preferred)
Salt and pepper
300/350 g potatoes, peeled and halved
Cornflour

Optional for dumplings:

50g self raising flour
25g suet
salt and pepper
Sprinkling of thyme


Again, pretty much the same stuff before. The reason I didn't coat the lamb in flour this time is because it seems to be a 'weird' thing to do here - most people look bemused, or ask why I don't just use a bit extra cornflour. However, the Welsh recipes seemed pretty keen on it, so I figured I'd do it their way that once. This is pretty 'rich' stew and only needs crusty bread to mop it up...it fills you up pretty quickly.

Lob everything in on 'low', and 30 minutes before turn it up to 'high' and add a couple of tsp of cornflour (play it by ear, if it doesn't look thick enough, add a bit more by bit). If you're making the dumplings, 15 minutes after you've added the cornflour, chuck them in. They should be done in 10 - 15 minutes.

Dumplings are good, but tremendously fattening. I don't eat them because of that reason, but a lot of English people love them.

To make the dumplings:

Chuck the ingredients in a mixing bowl, adding a little water each time to make a dough (do this in small steps, too much water, and you'll have to start again). Knead, and when thoroughly mixed, shape into two golf-ball sized globs. Throw them in the stew, and wait for 10 -15 minutes. Voilà.

Serve ideally on a blustery weekend, on a sofa, complete with blankets and bad daytime TV (its my ultimate comfort food) :)

I Know Jack About Fashion and 40-something chicks

Thank goodness. The SATC mania has died down. 12 months before the release of the film in the UK, we had endless information on the film in every single female-oriented magazine you could pick up. Everytime I flicked to the film review section, they'd be on about not, let's say, how awesome the new Chronicles of Narnia film is, (and I didn't want that film to end) or even screenshots of the up-and-coming (at the time, and turned out to be a great let-down) Indiana Jones 4, but Sarah Jessica Parker's hair. Sarah Jessica Parker's underwear. The bus she took to work that day. Her burps. I wanted to strangle every film journalist out there.

The fact is, her clothing was really bizarre (see above), I just don't get it. Nobody would wear any of it. Apart from the actual sitcom boring everything lifelike out of me, I can't work out exactly why it would appeal to women. As soon as these outfits hit the screen, we were bombarded with trend after trend. I couldn't shop anywhere without seeing ruffles and bows. I just wanted simple office clothing, but no...that would involve buying a dress that made me look like a toilet-brush holder. I know my clothing is pretty boring, and I spend most of my life in pencil skirts (they went 'out' a year ago, but am I bovvered?) but I don't like the high street dictating what and what I should not be wearing. If I see a weird-looking pair of heels going in a shop that's off the beaten track, I'll probably take them if they're reasonably priced. If I see a very cheap pair of boring heels going....what's to stop me taking them home and re-designing them myself?

I know particularly a lot of women will disagree with my stance on the show. They'll probably disagree with my loathing of Gossip Girl, Grey's Anatomy and most 'girly' shows, and can't for the life of them understand why I like to watch Top Gear with Jeremy Clarkson roaring along a track full of quips and throwing witty banter around. Or perhaps watching 'England Top Gear vs. Germany Top Gear'...or rather, seeing the British presenters meeting in 'neutral Belgium' arriving in no less than a fleet of spitfires. Either way, its jolly good fun, and they should try it.

Oh summer cooking, let me count the ways I hate thee...

Well, summer has reached us in the Shires. When I say 'summer', it means days of alternating between wearing sweaters and vest tops. For days it has been nightmarishly humid, however today I seem to be digging out jumpers from 2 years ago and sipping coffee while it pours with rain (no change there then) outside.

I'm not quite ready to let go of my slow cooker, either. EVERY kitchen should have a slow cooker. You can lob everything in there at 8AM before work, come back at 6:30 and get in. It's the winter meal essential. I'm sick of seeing chewy, bland chicken caesar salads.

One of my favourites is what I call a Spanish stew...(only one ingredient is of Spanish origin, it just sounds more exotic that way). The vibrancy and colours do lend themselves to summer, but I designed and used this as more of a mildly spicy winter-warmer for 2 or more:

2 fresh lamb leg steaks
1 celery stick
Baby new potatoes, about 200g, halved (peeled or not, its up to you)
Handful of black olives (again, personal choice. If they make you retch, no worries.)
Chorizo sausage (one half) (you can buy these from supermarket delis, but DON'T buy the thin, pre-sliced flimsy version in packets. They disintergrate far too easily and make the stew too rich).
Jar of tomato-based pasta sauce (or tomato puree with added capsicums, your choice), about 200/300 g
2 tsp of tabasco sauce (optional)
1 tsp of paprika
Salt and pepper

Cut the lamb steaks into chunks, trimming any excess fat (feel free to leave a bit on, it contributes to the flavour). Lob into slow cooker. Add sauce and paprika. Wash and pat dry the celery, slicing (don't forget to use a different or cleaned knife to the lamb one) in 2cm chunks. Throw in. Tumble in the halved potatoes. Slice the chorizo in 1.5 cm chunks, and lob along with olives (if using). At this point, if the stew is looking too 'stodgy' for your liking (it will get more liquidy as it cooks) you can add a little bit of water. Sprinkle over some salt and pepper (go easy on the salt, the chorizo is pretty rich in this) and turn on the slow cooker at a low temp. Stir gently after 1.5 hours, taste and add tabasco if needed. Leave for another 2-3 hours. Serve with warmed garlic bread and garnish with freshly chopped parsley.

Other stew(s) to follow :)