The World's Laziest Dessert

So, I had the lamb nailed. (Btw at the moment in the Shires, spring-born lamb is in its peak season, so get it while you can!) Now was the dilemma: dessert.

The thing I hate about dessert is that preparing it takes me away from the conversation. Unless I prepared it the night before, I want it done in an instant. So this leaves me the option of going to Tesco and buying a premade cake. And feeling rather cheated. Not to mention broke. However, there is another way.

One particular family I know seem to be obsessed with anything chilli-tasting. Their kitchen houses plenty of wonderful quirky chilli sauces, and the old favourites such as Tabasco and Encona. You remember that kid you grew up with who had ketchup with EVERYTHING? Their sons regard hot chilli with the same sort of bizarre loyalty.
So I decided I would feed the addiction just this once.

Caramelised Chilli Pineapple
(serves 3-4)

Large-ish tin of sliced (ringed) pineapples, 80-90% drained
2 red chillis (medium or hot heat level), deseeded and chopped finely
50g (or so) caster sugar
Tub of good quality vanilla ice-cream (Devon or Cornish works well here, I used the Kelly's brand)

One or two hours before eating, place the pineapple in a large bowl and mix in with the sugar.
Tip the chillis in and toss, making sure they are evenly coated. Cover with cling film and refridgerate.

10 or so minutes before serving, heat up a saucepan to a hot temperature, and tip all the contents in. Get it bubbling and frothy, and reduce to a medium/lower setting to simmer.

Be warned; it appears the mixture of sugar and chillis cooking can release a vapour that can for some reason, make you want to splutter and choke everywhere. (Best to place a kitchen towel over the lower part of your face, a la Lawrence of Arabia style. Yes you will look stupid.) Not recommended if you suffer with asthma :S

Continue cooking until the pineapple browns in a few places. You may find that there simply isn't enough sugar (I did), so feel at liberty to add some more.

Tip the piping hot chilli pineapples onto serving plates, get the ice-cream out of the freezer at the last minute, and serve with a couple of scoops each.

How Fast Time Goes....

Times and things change in a second. For the the past 2 months, I have been living with my friend Naomi (or The Gnomes) smack bang in the centre of town, yet it only seems yesterday. I have no idea how long I'll be here. I guess up until I start to understand finances and being self-reliant; so by the looks of it, more than a few months!
The biggest shock, most surprisingly, is coming home after work to an empty house. With 5 cats. And a giant rabbit.
Without a doubt, the best thing is sitting down at the table with a few friends and a meal a couple of times a week, glass of wine optional. Then all piling onto the couch with blankets and watching terrible girl-films that aren't funny. Its the simple things that please us the best.

Likewise, as autumn draws to a close and winter settles in, we start looking at our seasonal diet and out we chuck the salad and other 'summery' stuff. Something with a little spice - that subtle hint of warmth - is needed without the blow-your-brains-out heat of a curry. Yes, its lamb again, but lamb is wonderfully versatile and a no-brainer, not to mention incredibly quick.

Pan-Fried Lamb Cutlets
(serves 4)

8 lamb cutlets
A few large spoonfuls of apricot jam
1 tbsp ground coriander
1 tbsp ground cumin seeds
Salt and pepper
Slosh of olive oil
A sprinkle of lemon juice or 1/2 a lemon
Packet of dried or tub of pre-made couscous (maybe x2 if not enough)
Bag of ready-washed salad (the rocket variety springs to mind here)

First is first; open the salad and dump it in a colinder. Rinse and toss. (You can never be too sure). Leave standing in the sink or wherever suitable. You may want to shove a few plates in the oven to preheat to keep the couscous and lamb hot.

Grab a pastry brush, dip it in the jam and coat all the cutlets all over with it evenly.
(If you've got an electric hob instead of a gas one, you might want to preheat the pan with the oil in ready at this point). Tip the coriander and cumin on a plate, with a sprinkling of salt and pepper. Roll each cutlet through the seasoning, making sure both sides are coated. No problem if you run out of seasoning...just add a little more.
Throw the cutlets in the pan, (hopefully heated to a medium temperature at this point) and fry for 3-4 minutes before flipping over for another 3-4 minutes. if you don't like it rare, I would guess...7-9 minutes on each side? When at your preference, switch the heat to a steady simmer.

Now to the couscous. Basically just follow the instructions on the packet. Different brands have different ways; however, if you have a tin of chickpeas lurking your cupboard, heat them too and add to it...you might want to sprinkle a bit of dried apricot over it as well to tie in the flavours of the lamb. Go with flow.

Turn your attention back to the lamb and make sure its piping hot. Squeeze a small amount of lemon juice over the sizzling cutlets, and drizzle olive oil over the salad. Or maybe caesar dressing? Whatever you fancy. Load it all up, and serve!


Part 2 dessert will follow shortly....