There is No Point to Matthew McConaughey.

And I don't care if I've spelt his name wrong.

I probably shouldn't admit to this, but I saw Tropic Thunder the other day. (I didn't really expect the language to be so awful btw), and it completely kicked butt (minus the terrible language, of course). Granted, I was the only female in the entire audience enjoying the inpolitically correct jokes....plus, if it was just a film of Robert Downey Jr doing paperwork, I'd still go and see it (common reactions to this included 'EWWWWWW! He's my dad's age!' etc etc from girls, but what do they know? They find Brad Pitt attractive, and he has a face like a semi-melted volcano).
The thing is, the movie was a revelation to me. I realised I don't hate Tom Cruise as much as I thought I did. I've finally seen him in a film that hasn't made me want to walk over the pompous little gits' face. Therefore he deserves some sort of medal. Well done, little chap.

I'm somewhat biased, because Stiller can do no wrong in my eyes (apart from Meet the Fockers, which left me in a constant state of cringe). He's the bloke you meet at parties that keeps you doubled over (laughing I mean, hopefully not drunk) and the evening flowed with his banter as easily as the glasses of wine. Girls hovered around him like hawks, giving each other vicious looks, and the guys looked on enviously. OK, maybe Stiller's a little funny-looking (I don't personally think so, but each to their own) and generally his charisma is enough to carry off a truly awful film through. And he did it again.

All was going well until Matthew whathisname turned up. Like I said, I don't get this guy. His acting has never caught my attention (which according to his filmography, has been made up mostly of chick flicks. Oh dear. There's the problem). He has no charisma or 'pull', only an annoying self-smugness. And not surprisingly, he hasn't won any beauty contests either. So that rules the eye-candy excuse out.

So what exactly do he do?

Wikipedia:

"McConaughey's personal motto is "Just Keep Livin" and his foundation is called JK Livin Foundation. JK Livin Foundation's main purpose is to help young people live "fuller" lives."

Oh like how totally awesome. I love how you like dropped the 'g' of living, so rad. What a drongo.
So how, Mr. McConalot, do you think we should live 'fuller' lives?

Ironically, it goes on at the next sentence:

"On October 24, 1999, McConaughey was arrested at his home in Austin, Texas on charges of possession of marijuana and resisting arrest."

Oh dear.



(Sorry if anybody is a fan, I felt oblidged to replace the wrath I usually pour on Tom Cruise on someone else) :P

Chocolate beer goodness and goodbyes

Well, sunday was rather a sad day for us in Evesham Bengeworth cong. We had to say goodbye to my bookstudy conductor and his wife who have been assigned to somewhere about 25 miles away. Which, let's face it, isn't far, but it will definitely make a difference to us.

As a small 'farewell' do, we had a few refreshments at the hall yesterday. So my (usually distrastrious) contribution had to be a cake. More specifically, a chocolate ale recipe I'd been playing around with recently. Two rather famous British chefs have both made their own version of this recipe; I can only recommend thoroughly researching both and working out which aspects appeal best to you and trial and error. Then maybe adding your own spin on it :)

I've also noticed this is best served at a blokes' get-together; a lot of women aren't drawn to the slightly bitter taste. English 'beer' can be confused with ale. It should be a strong, silky-smooth dark brew that you choose. My recipe uses either London Pride or Jenning's Snecks dark ale. Disgusting to drink, but wonderful to cook with. Guinness can be used, but lacks that bitter aftertaste, although has a wonderful silky texture. (Excuse the pictures, I can't quite get the hang of arranging them on a blog without messing up). Another word of warning; it IS full to the brim of calories and sugar. But is suitable for the teetotal (it's cooked above 70 degrees, the dissolving point of alcohol), so you won't get smashed just by having some :P

Another tip: Make this cake a few days in advance and refridgerate it before icing. Trust me. It always tastes better.

For cake:

250 ml ale (see above)
250 g unsalted butter
75 g cocoa (I highly recommend bournville's brand; very dark and rich)
400 g caster sugar
143 ml sour cream
2 largish eggs
2 - 3 tsp vanilla extract
275 g plain flour (don't do what I did and pick up the cheap one that you use for pastry...not good)
2 tsps bicarbonate of soda

For icing:

300g Philadelphia cream cheese (the full-fat version)
125 ml double cream
150 g icing sugar

You'll need a cake tin roughly 23cm in circum. If you have to squidge it in a different size, be careful. Trust me, rise this cake will. Leave a generous gap between the batter and the edge of the tin. (You could always make cupcakes with the rest of the batter).

* * *

Preheat the oven to 180^oc (no fan), line the cake tin with baking paper. It saves faffing around with butter and stuff.

This is the great bit. Pour the beer into a medium saucepan, chop up the unsalted butter and chuck in. Stir occasionally to aid the melting process. Whisk in the cocoa (you get a good idea of what the cake will smell like at this point) and sugar. Leave on a low heat and keep your eye on it.
In a seperate bowl, combine the sour cream, eggs and vanilla. Use eletric beaters until thoroughly mixed, then add to the beery pan. Put the bicarb and flour together and add gradually to the pan; it can rise quite suddenly at this point, so best to lift it off the heat as you add. Whisk thoroughly. You might want to get the electric whisk out again at this point, to make sure there's no lumps, and the batter is smooth.

Pour the batter in the tin and lob in the oven for 45 minutes. This could take up to an hour though; its a tricky cake to keep an eye on. It's a naturally black-coloured cake, so its a case of trying to work out when it might be burning. Try not to open the oven too much, the sudden whoosh of oxygen might cause the cake to deflate. The best way to see if it is ready is to do the traditional stabbing-in-the-middle test...the cake, I mean. If the knife comes out clean, you're done. If it comes out with bits of cake on it, leave it cooking and check again in a bit. Don't worry about leaving marks and making a bit of a mess; this is why we invented icing ;)

After you've got it out and let it cooled, you may be thinking 'Oh crap, its rock hard around the edges and its sunken in the middle'. Don't worry. As hard as it is on the outside, it will be much more soft in the middle. If its the case that its sunken in a few places, you may have to cheat and do some grafting from the sides of the cake to put on the top. (Take it from places you know will be covered from icing). Or if you've made cupcakes as well, they could come in handy for that.

At this stage, you'll probably want to store it in the fridge for a day or two to 'settle'. Make sure its covered, to lock the moisture in. Dairy goes off quickly, so you might want to do the icing the night before you want to serve the cake.

Icing is easy as trying to find a pub in Ireland. Scoop the cream cheese into a bowl, and whip until smooth-ish. Sieve the icing sugar in, then beat again. Add the cream to make it a more spreadable texture, and beat again for a few minutes. Dollop it onto the cake; don't worry about it being 'neat', aim for a lovely messy, swirly pattern. Refridgerate until needed (the longer you leave it, the better!)